Newsgroups: comp.lang.apl
Path: watmath!watserv2.uwaterloo.ca!watserv1!LIEBTAG@STLVM20.VNET.IBM.COM
From: "David Liebtag" <LIEBTAG@STLVM20.VNET.IBM.COM>
Subject: Shooting Feet
Message-ID: <C7nL84.33A@watserv1.uwaterloo.ca>
Originator: daemon@watserv1.uwaterloo.ca
Sender: news@watserv1.uwaterloo.ca
Organization: University of Waterloo
Date: Wed, 26 May 1993 21:33:20 GMT

I love these things.  Here's a slightly different set.  (Sorry)


         How to Determine Which Programming Language You're Using:

      The proliferation of modern programming languages which seem to have
 stolen countless features from each other sometimes makes it difficult to
 remember which language you're using.  This guide is offered as a public
 service to help programmers in such dilemmas.


 C:         You shoot yourself in the foot.

 Assembly:  You crash the OS and overwrite the root disk.  The system
            administrator arrives and shoots you in the foot.  After
            a moment of contemplation, the administrator shoots himself
            in the foot and then hops around the room rabidly shooting
            at everyone in sight.

 C++:       You accidently create a dozen instances of yourself and shoot
            them all in the foot.  Providing emergency medical care
            is impossible since you can't tell which are bitwise copies
            and which are just pointing at others and saying, "that's
            me, over there."

 Ada:       If you are dumb enough to actually use this language, the
            United States Department of Defense will kidnap you,
            stand you up in front of a firing squad, and tell the
            soldiers, "Shoot at his feet."

 Modula/2:  After realizing that you can't actually accomplish anything
            in the language, you shoot yourself in the head.

 sh,
 csh,etc.:  You can't remember the syntax for anything, so you spend five hours
            reading man pages before giving up.  You then shoot the computer
            and switch to C.

 Smalltalk: You spend so much time playing with the graphics and windowing
            system that your boss shoots you in the foot, takes away your
            workstation, and makes you develop in COBOL on a character
            terminal.

 APL:       You hear a gunshot, and there's a hole in your foot, but you
            don't remember enough linear algebra to understand what the
            hell happened.

